Several weeks ago I found out that my Health Insurance was cancelled. There was no way to be reinstated into the plan. They had only sent me ONE letter in the snail mail and no email. What?! The last time my credit card was stolen, I forgot to update the info on their system. I felt scammed.
When I signed up for insurance as a newly divorced person 5 years ago, it was a painful application process. I had to present many documents from my medical history, test results, names of doctors and had to go through the anxiety of being deemed unworthy of the insurance. I was approved. After many moves in the past few years, I recycled those records confident I was already signed up to a plan I would not change.
What was the lesson? Clearly it had to be a good thing because that’s what I have come to understand from life. It’s all working FOR us. Yet at the time it honestly felt like a rug was being pulled from under my feet. Again.
So I posted on Facebook, shared with friends, asked around to see what my options were. I let energy flow through it instead of contracting and keeping it stuck in a tight knot. I was reminded to avoid signing contracts during Mercury Retrograde. That make me relax a bit more and Trust in the flow; I was deep into that phase and had to wait a few weeks before I could make a decision.
In the meantime, I realized my plan did NOT include pregnancy. Was this the Universe’s way of telling me to consider it and get a plan that did fully cover me?
Just before the end of my marriage I was excited about having a baby girl. I already had two boys and was already deep into motherhood. Since then, many times during meditation I have felt the presence of a baby girl in my energy field. Recently a 5 year old visiting our home asked me where my daughter was. I said I didn’t have one. So she asked if she had died. I answered that maybe she wasn’t born yet. A bit uncanny.
A doctor friend gave me the contact info of a health insurance agent he highly recommended. The day after mercury retrograde ended we met at a coffee shop. He explained that all plans include pregnancy and no documents are needed as a result of Obama’s reforms. Wow! There had been nothing to worry about. By the end of the hour, I was enrolled for a cheaper plan and covered for everything that I would need. Or not need at all. I had also saved over two thousand dollars from the months I wasn’t covered.
So no decision needed, I deeply let go of the idea of baby or no baby.
And she was Born. The Goddess in me that knows of Love. The one who desires to dance, sing, play, create, enjoy and be grateful.
All that love we give away to our children, parents, partners, lovers, friends and colleagues, to the strangers that we help… That love is just pointing at how to hold ourselves so dearly, full of compassion, dedication, forgiveness, appreciation, and sweetness.
I got my baby girl now wrapped within me. And I didn’t have to carry the belly again. I did have to work very hard for her and will continue to grow deeper into awareness of this Goddess. For there is always more, as expansion is the way of the Universe.
No getting there. No completion. Just a constant dance of Awareness in Love.
Love, Light and Laughter,