THE SMALL EVENTS OF LITTLE PEOPLE MEAN A LOT

Date Published: December 27, 2013

Let’s be realist. Maybe it’s just a three or four minute deal and yet it means everything to them. If you knew, you would make the effort! What can we do about that?

They crouched on the floor without peaking, dressed in white with angel wings hanging from their backs. Snowflakes and dove cutouts were scattered beneath them on the floor. A pristine white curtain hung behind them giving us a hint of what would come next.

I’m Alive! A beautiful song by Celine Dion started playing. As they lifted their heads up and flashed their proud smiles with gorgeously painted faces in silver and white I broke into tears. Listening to my boy sing the powerful lyrics and seeing him dance with such joy was one of the greatest gifts of all. As the thick streams of saltwater poured down my face I smiled and nodded to let my boy know I was excited and happy to be there. Crazy momma’s can be very confusing!!!

As soon as it was over, the kids ran into their parents arms to receive kisses, hugs and congratulations. Their fabulous teacher suggested they do it again; we would wait a few minutes for a dad to arrive. When my son realized that his dad wasn’t there, his whole world stopped turning. He went cold. There was nothing I could do to bring him back to his light and the joy he had experienced a few minutes earlier. When the show started again, he refused profusely. He ended up standing in the middle of his classmates like a statue, looking away from the audience. It was painful to see his broken heart. He was sobbing on my shoulder at the end.

What can we do to better support our children?!

1) Be Informed! His dad doesn’t live in Miami and wasn’t aware of the show, nor how his absence could be heartbreaking for the little one. Many dads live in the same city and have no clue either. Now I’ve made sure that he is cc’d in all the emails sent out by the teachers.

2) Know each parent is unique and indispensable. Sending a single parent to represent the family does not cut it. Each kid needs both mom and dad to feel complete and supported. As a mom who is divorced, I see and feel how important that is for them.

3) Embrace technology. Work and responsibilities don’t always allow us to manage our own time. With hindsight I realize I could have taken my iPad and set up Skype for his dad to see the show live and congratulate our son on the spot. I’m sure you can come up with good alternatives too.

4) Put things into perspective. What is the most important thing in our lives? I believe that if we can’t appreciate our children and nurture our families, that undermines our ability to be effective in our work. A balance of work and family life are essential…. hard and yet something desirable to strive for. The happier our kids are, the happier we as parents will be and the whole family dynamics will be smoother, allowing us to be more creative, stress-free, inspired and productive at work.

I hope that as we set goals for the New Year we remember to dream big to transform our lives and also to dream small for big love in our homes.

Love, light and laughter,

Mena