HELP! I JUST REALIZED I’M HUMAN
Date Published: June 15, 2013
I finally realize I’m human. Shouldn’t I have figured it out sooner!? I have the four-limbed body, the curiously unstable mind and the questionable habits of one.
A lego wonder woman clings valiantly to my key chain since last December. Did I aspire to her super powers? I must confess I did. Let me tell you now, beware what you ask for!!! During several months I had no help. WONDER WOMAN! As a single working mom, no nanny and no cleaner means no life! At least not an ideal one. I only survived thanks to my mom who is temporarily in town.
Wonder how this idea emerged?
My nanny left unexpectedly one morning in March, she had been living with us for one year. I would tell people God sent her to me; I also believe it was a blessing for her to leave. That story deserves a post in itself. Only three weeks away from going on holiday, I decided to save some money and reconnect with my home and my children. A noble cause.
Wonder what it did to my ego?
Scrubbing the toilets, washing the dishes, vacuuming my home, taking out the trash. These are ordinary tasks which had become alien to my life. Since my first son was born six years ago, I stopped cleaning and instead hired someone to do it. Now I was CHOOSING to do it and I did it with all the love and attention I could muster. It was a powerful experience of filling my home with my energy and throwing myself a bucket full of humility.
Wonder who paid the consequences?
Forget about going out; only if it was an important event I relied on my understanding parents. By 9pm I wouldn’t be the sweet, funny mom the boys new. Regardless of my apologies and explanations that I was exhausted and still had to go clean up the kitchen and fold clothes, it wasn’t a great experience for them. One night my youngest boy, holding his teddy close to his almost teary face said “Mom, can we please buy a nanny!?” My heart melted and I realized it wasn’t fair for them either. I promised I would figure it out soon.
Wonder how long it lasted?
The breakdown came one Friday morning roughly three months after the nanny left. I don’t have a big dramatic story to share but it was a definitive shift in my energy. “ENOUGH!!!!!! Universe HELP me!!!!” I sent a text out to girlfriends asking them for reference of cleaning ladies and magically I got exactly what I wanted: a 3-8pm lady who helps with the house, cooking and supervises the kids if I need it.
My wonder woman days are over. Now I can forever let got of the notion that I CAN DO IT ALL BY MYSELF!!! There is no need to carry the world on my shoulders… I’m not braver or stronger for it. YES!!! I’m human. I deserve help, support and love. In that nurtured space I can be inspired and create with my natural strengths, sharing the accomplishments with everyone around me. Like if you believe this too.
Blessings fellow humans!