I’M GOING AND I’M NOT LEAVING
Date Published: June 18, 2015
Tonight it’s happening. Six years in the making.
It wasn’t until I fell in love with this place that I was ready to go; for what we reject persists. There were lessons wrapped up that needed to be explored and digested.
We’re finally packing it all up and going to live in Midtown Miami. Six years ago, I moved to Key Biscayne as a married woman with two small children and not choosing to live here. The vibrant energy of Soho in NYC had charmed me and was seducing me to stay. My husband at the time did not care for my opinion and like an unhappy child I was forced to follow him to the island paradise which felt like torture to me.
Within the year, dispassionate, lonely and frustrated with a partner who was back working in NY and had left me where I didn’t want to be, I had the courage to get divorced. These last five years I have been immersed in self-discovery while exploring consciousness.
It was Organic! My older son’s anger towards the public school opened the door for our move. As a vibrant, expressive and free soul, the dryness of the school (no sports, music or art) and the size of his class (38 children!) crushed his excitement for life. He felt he was having to deal with terrorists and he didn’t want to be a part of it. Without hesitating, I signed him up to Metropolitan International School in Midtown which I felt aligned with from day one.
Anger is a Great Catalyst for Change. Driving every morning to their new school was extremely unpleasant. It took me one hour to do the round trip out and back to the key. After cruising in rush hour traffic and getting back too late for the morning gym or yoga classes I used to take, I felt angry and stuck in a situation I wouldn’t choose.
Carpool wasn’t a possibility. Putting them on a van made me cringe. I decided to make the most of it and focus on the benefits. My boys learned to sit in the car without electronics to distract them, they became creative observers of clouds, we had conversations about school and our morning stumbles, I shared my favorite songs and they became DJs every morning.
Still, it wasn’t my choice. I began to stay closer to their school to work from cafe’s and restaurants. During one whole month I went to Trio yoga and loved the fresh and creative energy of the hood. I was torn between neighborhoods. Once I had already left the key in the morning, it was hard to leave again at night to go out to an event.
I Always have Wings! So, this past November I decided to make the move and made my intention very clearly. I bought my apartment three years ago and the prices have gone up significantly since. Yes. It’s was a good time to sell, pull up my roots completely and transport myself to a new reality.
Around the same time, I had a powerful meditation around the selling price for my apartment. I always said: “When I jump, I will get wings”. Not selling my apt wasn’t going to stop me from moving. As soon as I decided to move, I looked for apartments to rent and I knew exactly where I wanted to live. There wasn’t an opening until June 1. It felt so far away and yet I knew it was the time I needed to fall deeper in love with the place where I still lived. I honored it.
The day I got the keys to my new apartment, I got a formal written offer to buy my apartment. Soon after I signed the contract at the price I envisioned in November. So I jumped and that same day it happened!!! Now I’ve upgraded my message: “I always have wings. No more need for a cliff”. My new view reminds me I’m always flying.
Things unfold magically when the energy behind them is aligned. Many times in this society we force things. We believe that rowing harder and sweating more is the only way. I’ve learned better.
I AM NOT LEAVING because there is nothing to reject, run away from or dislike. I AM GOING because I am choosing something that expands me more.
What a gift from my island paradise!!! It has been my cocoon and the butterfly is ready to fly! Now I’m on the 17th floor (1+7= 8 for infinite!) with the view of the bay, the sunrise (during the summers I also see the sunset) and the sensation that I am flying.
Yes. We’re going and so excited about our new adventures. We’re not leaving! Only 20 minutes away and we shall come to the beach on the weekends and visit so many friends we have made in this community.
I’m here. There. Everywhere.
Just reach out. And if you take a deep breath and quiet your mind, you’ll find me there too.
Love, Light and Laughter!