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Date Published: September 20, 2013

Honestly, it hurts. I walked around all afternoon on Sunday with a gift for my boys’ baby brother and ended up bringing it back with me to my sister’s apartment. I don’t get it.

I’ve been excited to meet my boys’ little brother for a while now. Since the kids left four days before, I had been unable to reach them on the phone. No answers. As my plane was about to pull back from the gate, I could feel my frustration starting to warm my face. Fortunately, I slept the whole flight. When I landed in NYC at midday I sent another text message.

I went straight to brunch with my sister and her boyfriend in the Upper East Side. Hours went by waiting to get a reply from my messages to go see the boys. Towards the end of the day I wrote again saying that as Ben and Sebastian’s mom they should respect me by at least sending me a reply. It was ok if they didn’t feel like seeing me. Just don’t let me hanging! I’m entitled to speak to my children.

When I finally got a reply, I was questioned for my intentions with the baby and the mom. Really!?!? It felt like a slap in the face. All I have is love. It was time to let it go. I could not take this personally as I learned while healing from my divorce. I did not offer the other cheek; I backed away. Unexpected. Yes. Frustrating. oh boy! I didn’t want it to affect my stay in NYC so I sat down to recognize and release the emotions. I guess I’m still working on it.

I called again today to hear my boy’s voices and let them connect to their mom; at the age of four and six, they still need my nurturing. Everything was back to normal as if nothing had been said. Things happen and if we get caught up with drama, it just messes up our day. Lesson: Breath, focus on my present moment, communicate calmly asking for respect and carry on.

I’ll meet him next time. Or the next. No hard feelings. It’s not about me and my ex. I will keep this new relationship clear of the old cobwebs.

Love. Light. No laughter this time. Smile… yeah!


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