WHY THE SWEETEST LOVE TURNS SOUR
Date Published: May 10, 2014
If you are old enough to read, you have probably experienced the tragic moment when the light turns out and becomes an angry scream in the pitch dark. How can deep admiration and intense love turn into a source of pain and rejection?
I have experienced life enough to KNOW it so well. I chose to never fall into that unnecessary puddle of drama and tears. There is a better way!!! Are you ready to graduate and become a lover of love?
When our heart rips open it leaves us raw and vulnerable… Another being has unlocked a barrier to our heart to a point where we can access our own power: the love that we are. Yet, we mistakenly believe that that LOVE belongs to the other person. Should we loose them, we would loose it all! Should they leave, they would be stealing from us this warmth and passion that we treasure.
Our hearts are actually infinite. Imagine your love being a Sun whose rays extend into the horizon of space. Life, family and society teach us to guard it and put a wall around it. You know it’s shape! <3
As I’m writing this post, I get a handwritten note. “Without disappointment, you can’t appreciate Victory”. So ridiculously synchronized. Expectations seem to ruin our experience of life! You can only be disappointed when you are expecting a certain outcome. If we are simply open to WHAT IS, there is only joy and gratitude for the presence of love and inspiration.
Lightning strikes. What do you do?
1) Know that love you are feeling is your own! That crack which that person helps you create on your protected heart can NOT be undone. You can choose to feel that opening of the heart forever and be grateful for the gift that person has given you OR you can also choose to hurt and define love as painful… therefore attracting that experience in the future.
2) Do not jump into conclusions as to what kind of relationship you will have with this person. Time will define it simply by an accumulation of experiences. If you try to decipher it at the beginning and label it, fear and control very likely will ruin what could have been.
3) Remove expectations about what the other person should say, do or be. This avoids disappointments. It also helps us understand that everyone is free to act as he or she feels aligned. “I TRUST you will act in a way I agree with”, eventually fails. We can only TRUST that others will do what they choose to.
4) Find out what you find attractive in that other person. Usually we are drawn to characteristics we want to acquire in our own personalities. Learn from that person for personal growth, it’s a mutual exchange! Otherwise, we might end up frustrated with that person because they have something we never develop.
5) Don’t rush in. There is a high probability that we are running into a pattern, something we experienced in the past. Look at situations that seem to repeat themselves and learn a more empowered way of interacting.
6) Pace the relationship! When there is a powerful connection with someone and each persons’ hearts open up passionately, it can be like a FIRE. It can trigger painful experiences from the past that splatter the current relationship. A gentle start and courting like in the old times seem like an awesome idea… specially given male’s nature as a hunter. What is easy to catch is not worth a story!
6) The end of a relationship is not a failure. It’s the completion of a purpose. The energies that needed to exchange, did. Your paths together have come to an end. There is no need to prove the other wrong or say that there is no more love. It is enough to understand that the vision for the next part of the journey is not shared.
Instead of turning love sour, maybe we can add some spice! ; D When we truly love ourselves and embrace love for others as a joyful and powerfully inspiring experience, we become Lovers of Love. It is than that we grow quickly to understand ourselves. We are free to find that person we don’t actually need, yet deeply desire to share life with and all the possibilities.
Love, light and Laughter!